Selma Arts Center hopes for a bloody good time with ‘Evil Dead: The Musical.’ As for me, I’m waiting for the song about Candarian demons.
Welcome to the Splash Zone
By Donald Munro
Got blood?
I haven’t yet seen a public performance of Selma Arts Center’s production of the wacky “Evil Dead: The Musical,” now in its opening weekend, but I can assure you of one thing:
Pictured above: Chris Ortiz-Belcher turns the tables in “Evil Dead: The Musical.” Photos and videos: Kyle Lowe
It’s the bloodiest (and campiest) show you’ll see on stage all year.
Here’s a rundown of some good stuff to know before seeing the production (which runs for four weekends through Sept. 7):
1. Yes, it’s a musical, and, yes, it’s that “Evil Dead.”
There’s most definitely a sub-genre of musicals out there inspired by the most unlikely of sources. One example: “Silence: The Musical,” inspired by Hannibal Lechter. Or “The Toxic Avenger” musical (including the uplifting song “Everybody Dies!”)
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One of the best known is “Evil Dead: The Musical,” based on the two horror films bearing the same name. (Roughly speaking, the first act is based on “The Evil Dead” and the second on “Evil Dead II.”) It was first performed in 2003 and eventually made its way to Off-Broadway. Following the adventures of five college students on spring break who make their way to an isolated cabin in the woods, the show includes an array of slasher-movie tropes, including zombies, a haunted cellar and a chainsaw.
2. Here’s the official synopsis:
A musical filled with iconic images and lines from the original “Evil Dead” movie franchise. Not long ago, at a cabin lost in the woods in Michigan, five college students found themselves face to face with evil forces summoned by the Necronomicon, also known as the Book of the Dead. It’s up to Ash, a loyal S-Mart employee, to destroy the demons and save the world. This campy musical makes for a comedic, not to mention gratuitously violent and over-the-top, fun, bloody experience.
3. This is not “The Sound of Music.”
If it were, it would need to include a storyline involving the seven Von Trapp children opening those brown paper packages tied up with string only to find demons inside that suck out their souls. Let’s put it this way: Mother Superior would need a papal letter of indulgence just to sit through this show, seeing as how it includes blatant consensual sexual situations, blatant non-consensual groping by demon-possessed trees, dismemberment of essential limbs, a spectacular effusion of raunchy language, and heavy-duty doses of the occult. Also, there are crew members whose job descriptions include spraying blood at the audience. (See Splash Zone, below.) It’s also extremely campy and even a little bit scary. Think twice about bringing someone on the path to beatification. If you somehow wander in and then spend the whole time clutching your pearls, don’t say I didn’t warn you. (Obviously, the production is Rated R.)
4. There is a Splash Zone.
Much as you can sit in a special zone at Seaworld at the killer whale show with an almost sure chance of getting wet, audience members at “Evil Dead: The Musical” can opt to buy a premium ticket to sit in a plastic-tarp-draped area of the theater. You’re provided a poncho, a clean-up kit (that includes wet naps, face wipes, tissues, q-tips, and other items to help control the mess). Leave your new Air Jordans at home.
At Thursday’s dress rehearsal, I was invited to sit briefly in the Splash Zone for a test run while Elizabeth Heinrichs, special effects makeup designer, doused me with fake blood. Because I am fiercely near-sighted and out of caution removed my expensive prescription glasses prior to my hemoglobin shower, I didn’t actually see much of anything, but I certainly felt it. The poncho worked surprisingly well!
5. I have a favorite song in the show.
I am no stranger to “Evil Dead: The Musical,” just as I am quite familiar with the unlikely musicals that I mention above. Sure, I love Broadway classics, but I also love small, bizarre musicals.
My favorite song in the show, which resides proudly in my “Best Broadway Moments” Apple Music playlist, is “All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Candarian Demons.” For one thing, I think I can safely say that this song has the most specific plot-point title in the musical-theater universe. Plus, the melody and doo-wop silliness of the chordal progressions just makes it easy to like.
For years, I kept this preference quiet, seeing as how my effusiveness might seem odd to, say, my chamber-music-loving readers. And then, when Playhouse Merced put on a blood-soaked show in 2017, I revealed my predilection. (I hate horror movies, by the way, but I love horror musicals. Go figure.)
In the Selma Arts Center production, Emily Swalef, who portrays Annie, gets to sing it:
All my college boyfriends and my one-night stands
My male co-workers and platonic gay friends
(Men: Hey?!)
Every date I go on ends in demon bloodshed
And now that I met you two guys, I know you’ll soon be dead
Men: What the f—
They say love is cruel
(Men: Ship-shoo-wah)
And I believe them
(Men: Ship-shoo-wah)
My heart’s always broken
Cause the men in my life
And I mean ALL the men in my life
Every single man in my life
Keeps getting killed …
by Candarian demons
Believe me, it’s epic. I can’t wait.
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